Monthly Archives: September 2013

The slimy streets of Dover

I am resigned to using this webpage as extended therapy for my prolonged mental illness rather then interesting anyone else.  Still, walking the filthy streets of Dover today helps keep the euphoria at bay.  Really, it is sickening.  Lumps of shite everywhere you go with the steam off them reaching your nose like a triumphant mountaineer reaching the summit.  Yet, you never see the culprits who happily let their dogs squat on a narrow pavement and empty their bowels knowing full well something in them forbids them picking the yield up.

Then there is the piss.  Dog piss has saturated the pavements and walls of the town.  Lamposts coated with decades of urine.  Surely we shouldn’t stand for this and let a minority group make so much mess of our public places.  If people are going to adopt these creatures they should make sure they carry out their business on private property and not right outside someone’s front door.  Yet, people are retards.

Let me explain.  I am sick and tired of junk mail being put through the letterbox so I put a polite sign up to tell the offenders to cease this offloading onto my efforts of recycling.  It didn’t make any difference, until today.  I saw one the pesky deliverers closing in on my house so I put said sign right over the letterbox.  He got to my door, pondered the sign…and posted the junk mail.  I wasn’t having that so I went out and handed the piece of paper back to him enquiring as to why he continued to post after reading my notice.  Even if he was illiterate surely having the paper cover the letterbox was sufficient enough protest.  He just grunted.  Still, that is another boil lanced and I can Meldrew onto something else now.  Little things piss me off.

Piano Sonata in E flat major

I am quite pleased with this work:

It was started over twenty years ago and wasn’t until this year that I decided to complete it. I only had drafts for the first movement so the final two movements where conceived this year. There is no harm is being proud of something I am proud of this. It maybe getting performed next Monday which would be interesting to witness. This is through the Bunbury e-zine who are holding a small concert of my music and people’s poetry in Swansea.

Dover Athletic 1 v 2 Weston-Super-Mare

I dire game of football where the final whistle came as a welcome relief.  Dover barely deserved a point as they continue to play turgid football.  Weston were their usual self, parking the bus style tactics, but did show more endeavour those previous seasons.

Although Dover did try new tactics and dropped the Elliot Charles alone upfront idea, it still didn’t click.  Elder and Bakare looked flat and non-inventive not helped by a non existent midfield.  All resulting in Dover Athletic becoming very hard to watch.  So five goals in seven games is pretty poor, even if the defence is one positive thing to look it we need to start firing up front and thankfully we have Sutton United away on Tuesday.  Not somewhere we traditionally do very well at, so we are due a victory.

Roll on.


This sort of thing sends my bullshit detectorphon of the scales.  Orgonite is just wankstain.  It is nothing but a waste of time and not even placebo at best.  Yet, some people swear by it.  It cures all ills, like mobile phone radiation, and other stuff.  When you look at it it is just some paperclips, and iron filings set in pretty resin, and shaped like a pyramid.  How can that function at all, it is so inaccurate it is unbelievable.

The origins of orgone date back to a chap called Wilhelm Reich. He was a mad professor who claimed he had found some new form of energy.  The FDA, rightly, got his ass banged up and he died in prison.  His ‘work’ was supposedly destroyed which begs the question, how do advocates of orgone know if they are doing the right thing or not?

This is an advocate or orgone.

Dover Athletic v Weston-Super-Mare preview

Review time again and we can look forward to a splendid afternoon of hack ball, and a showcase of defensive capabilities.    As much as I couldn’t bare missing my football it is starting to become a bit of a joke.  All the while I’d support Kinnear if his formation was 10-0-0 he really just has to go for it on Saturday.  Yes. Weston will park the bus we must just make sure they don’t put the hand brake on.  I think the crowd would be far happier to lose 3-2 then 1-0, if we have to lose at all.

Let’s leave Charles out on the bench.  Look he is a great guy, and I mean that but he has had a good run that hasn’t really yielded anything.  But he has done as he was told, which is why he keeps getting picked.  But we have only scored four in six that suggests something isn’t working.  I would get Elder, Ademola and Bakare out there to rip shreds out of Weston.  Weston are a tough side to break down and prefer a tactic of anti football, normally hoping to hit teams on the break.  Or at least they always do against Dover.  Trouble is what happens then anti-football meets anti-football?  You spend the whole game watching either goalkeeper gently trotting about getting the ball for a goal kick.  Chances are rare and the time drags.

I can’t think of nothing else to say on the matter

Good game.


Settling in for winter

I’m not one to talk too much about the weather but I have noticed a sudden lurch from lovely late summer sunshine to a midst of autumn dark and miserable scene.  I don’t mind either really.  Winter shouldn’t bother me too much as long as we don’t get snow.  I hate snow, especially  went it turns to slush and mixed up with dog shit and piss.  Those buggers go out all weathers.  Bloody dogs.  The streets are caked in their shit and stained with their piss.  It is revolting.  I am not a dog lover, but I don’t hate them, although I find them irritating.  It amuses me when someone is walking a noisy dog and they are forever telling it to shut up. Why do you bloody bother?

Yeah, I hate the snow but I like the autumn.  I’m grateful to live in a country where you yearn for something in the future.

The good lord almighty

If a search engine guided you here and you are looking for something nice and religious then this isn’t it.  Stop reading now if you are ever so easily offended by my ridiculing your faith.  I don’t really respect it, I would never say you shouldn’t have a faith, none of my business.  Just like I don’t respect motorcyclists, don’t like them, but if they want to ride a bike it is nothing to do with me.  I like football as a pastime, some people would think it is barmy to follow a football side.  Anyway I think I have made my initial point, if you are still reading that it.

It dawned on me the other day that God (I’ll use the Abrahamic one here) really wants you to have nothing in life but him.  I was watching a You Tube video of some preachers laying into pokemon saying it was evil and the such.  He is only saying that because it pushes praying time to the lord out a bit so kids go to bed with less god.  If you’re playing pokemon your’re not praising the lord.  You look at any activity apart from manual labour, procreative sex, praying, eating, drinking, and sleeping then it is the Devil’s work.  In this life we are technically not allowed to do anything interesting, as harmless as it may be.

In a place of work many years ago there was this religious chap.  He was softly spoken and read his bible diligently every lunch time until one day he started handed out lists to certain people.  I didn’t get one but someone else told me it was a list of companies that were evil and did deals with the devil.  All your run of the mill everyday companies.  Crisp companies, detergent companies, and sweet companies, etc.  I remember asking about this one afternoon, he told me to mind my own business, so I had a big rant at him, like I normally did, and he went off to tell my supervisor.  That fell on death ears because neither of us liked him, but I was called ‘an angry young man’.  No, I just hate bullshiters.   He moved from a church in one town to another because there was a black cloud over the former, a metaphorical one that only he could see.  He did manage to piss off most people until he was made redundant, and then piss them off further by visiting everyone, bar me, to apologise for his actions.

His life revolved around religion and it was as frugal as you can imagine.  But to be a true religiosio you have to abandon everything that might be ‘fun’.  Eurgh, imagine doing something that didn’t involve praying to the lord, how repulsive.  The world is full of people who have this attitude.  Ones that don’t drink and in some countries opiate painkillers stronger then tramadol are banned.  Going to church is seen as the highlight of someone’s life.  They go to be shouted at and made fearful, to not like Fireman Sam this week, or whatever.  What a shit life, and what a shame for the poor children who get sucked into this.  Sucked in for a lifetime of praying and being godly.  I am so glad I didn’t have to suffer that.  Having religious parents must be pretty horrific.

So to make my point clear.  Anything that doesn’t involve god is evil.  Even having a shag, and enjoying it can be seen as sinful. Of people are going to live their lives like that then they shouldn’t expect anything at the end of it.  They will die and nothing.  Their body will rot and it constituent parts will decay into new life. All that time praying would have been in vain and their one shot at life and learning about it will be gone, forever, and ever.


New course

The first arrival came today for my writing/history courses.  It’s about to begin, knuckle down and do some interesting shit.  Hopefully my ambition of getting a degree will come forth in twelve months, as this creative writing course doesn’t look too daunting, on the surface.  So about time I got stuck in before getting overwhelmed.  That can happen, or at least to me.  You feel the need, urge, to complete the course before the edges of the textbook get scuffed.  There is plenty of time, and is designed to be done in months not seconds.

I have calmed down a bit from the stewardgate episode from the weekend.  Still annoyed that people still accept this level of stewarding at this level of football.     That’s me getting upset too easily, for no reason.  Just like I don’t want to go near the in-laws, I will just make a fool of myself.  Similar to having Jehovah Witnesses knocking at the door, I enjoy the argument but get wound up by their profound stupidity.  The in-laws are stupid too, must make sure that is said quite clearly.

This is written as it comes of my mind which is why I need a lithium check or I’ll become a dribbling prick with no substance, just like where this sentence is heading.  I don’t feel too wound up but I did wake up too early and feeling quite blue.  Watching some George Carlin and Doug Stanhope (highly recommend both) cheered me up and so far I haven’t had a cider, but a mere couple of solpadols.


Bipolar or not

I have a lithium level that is below therapeutic levels.  So in effect it is doing nothing.  The dose is not high enough.  My GP wouldn’t raise it the other week because I was depressed so she said we will see how it goes.  Fair enough I though, but my mood has changed.  I have become very irritable, with a racing mind and spending money I don’t have.  I have grand ideas too.  But I am not bipolar.  I bet I am.  Shouldn’t self diagnose.  Maybe the olanzapine is holding some of the symptoms in because that can act as a mood stabiliser.  I don’t feel high as in ‘happy high’, but I feel overwhelmed and hyperactive.  Concentrating on one thing is hard for too long.  I have been going for walks to try to burn of energy but it doesn’t really help.  It is a good thing I have mirtazapine, that works just right every night.

Drug regimen

8 am Venlafaxine 375 mg

Lithium 400 mg

10 am Pregabalin 300 mg

2 pm Pregabalin 300 mg

3 pm  Olanzapine 15 mg

10 pm Mirtazapine 45 mg

Lithium 400 mg

Plus, add in codeine PRN.

I don’t care if people think this is a shit blog.  It is something for me to look back on.


Dover Athletic and marmite

My ongoing love hate relationship with this football has vied towards dislike after the unsavoury events on Saturday.  One day I hope to see them fighting relegation one day in the Skrill Premier, but until then can we just not enjoy, and be proud of our little football club.  It has huge potential that the board seem to want to alienate at every step, only worrying about the corporate angel and how to make the next bit of coin.  Now of course making money is important for a club at Dover’s level but it is in the process of snipping off the main artery of income, the fans.  Being treated as sub human by beings that have not long walked on two feet is an insult to us all.  Anyway, I’ve done that argument.  But pissing on your own fans is the lowest you can get.

I bought a season ticket this year, thinking it would be a good investment.  No, so far I have seen two Dover goals in three home games.  That is a crap return. I want mega football, brilliant players, and superb support.  At the moment I am not liking this club, they think the fans are stupid.  Well there won’t be many there tomorrow.  I’m not going to spend thirteen quid on what will probably be an amazing game.  Oh well, if it is it is, I still won’t be there.